Letter to His First Wife, Edie

(source)

“I have lots of things to teach you now, in case we ever meet, concerning the message that was transmitted to me under a pine tree in North Carolina on a cold winter moonlit night. It said that Nothing Ever Happened, so don't worry. It's all like a dream. Everything is ecstasy, inside. We just don't know it because of our thinking-minds. But in our true blissful essence of mind is known that everything is alright forever and forever and forever. Close your eyes, let your hands and nerve-ends drop, stop breathing for 3 seconds, listen to the silence inside the illusion of the world, and you will remember the lesson you forgot, which was taught in immense milky way soft cloud innumerable worlds long ago and not even at all. It is all one vast awakened thing. I call it the golden eternity. It is perfect. We were never really born, we will never really die. It has nothing to do with the imaginary idea of a personal self, other selves, many selves everywhere: Self is only an idea, a mortal idea. That which passes into everything is one thing. It's a dream already ended. There's nothing to be afraid of and nothing to be glad about. I know this from staring at mountains months on end. They never show any expression, they are like empty space. Do you think the emptiness of space will ever crumble away? Mountains will crumble, but the emptiness of space, which is the one universal essence of mind, the vast awakenerhood, empty and awake, will never crumble away because it was never born."

-Jack Kerouac 

And I apologize but

  

I've dreamed harder than you have.

My New 365 Blog!

I am starting a 365-day photo blog in celebration of the New Year. Please follow my new 365 blog as I post a photo each day eventually documenting my whole year! Posts will start January 1^st and I will try to post everyday (we’ll see how great that works out…). There is a link in the sidebar, but I will also post it here:

http://yearofmyphotos.blogspot.com

Thanks for reading and Happy New Year to everyone!

Quote Pictures

 

"Twenty years of snow falling..."

I find that when you think of the future, things seem to become calmer. Like you realize that the moment you are in is just a small moment, and when you think about it it’s okay because you’ll just eventually forget anyways. It’s sort of sad but also amazing. That you will just forget things. And you won’t remember the grade you got, or a mean look, or what you wore that day. It’s just a speck. You’ll just forget everything. You’ll only remember the feelings.

"Don't need to be saved..."

 

So

(source)

So

Why is it

That the people

Who least deserve

What they want,

Get it?

"A Sort Of Pondering"- A Poem

 (source)

I breathe into the place with

The secret trees that cast shadows

Across my pale porcelain face

And the jacket, frayed ends and all,

Smelling like a fire, blazing, churning

With my reflection gazing at the stars

There were so many, like a jewelry box,

Only fit for diamond stud earrings

I felt a sense of still

Like God placed his hands on my shoulder,

And sent peace through my fingertips

My heart started up its chaos just then

I began to see the things I’d forgotten

Or meant to forget and never had the time

So I sat quietly on the rock by the creek

Thinking

About how I was a little lost

Not physically, but in my head

And how I don’t really know my family,

They’re strangers on a long bridge

That I pass by when I ride my bicycle.

I thought about how I don’t really have an explanation

As to why life goes on.

It just does.

"Name" by The Goo Goo Dolls

And even though the moment passed me by
I still can’t turn away
Cause all the dreams you never thought you'd lose
are tossed along the way
Letters that you never meant to send
Lost and thrown away

And now we are grown up orphans that never knew their names
We don’t belong to no one that’s a shame
You could hide beside me
Maybe for a while
And I won't tell no one your name..
And I won't tell 'em your name

Scars are souvenirs you'll never lose
the past is never far
did you lose yourself somewhere out there?
Did you get to be a star?
Don't it make you sad to know that life
is more than who we are?

We grew up way too fast
Now there's nothing to believe
And re-runs all become our history
A tired song keeps playin’ on a tired radio
And I won't tell no one your name...
And I won't tell 'em your name
I won't tell 'em your name...I won't tell 'em your name

I think about you all the time
but I don't need to sing...
It's lonely where you are, come back down
and I won't tell your name

100

This is officially the 100^th post of Suigeneris Thoughts. In honor of this moment I will make a list of the top ten (100 is too many…) things I’ve learned from the time I've started this blog, to now.

10. I’ve learned that people are going to be better than you at some things, and that’s ok.

9. I’ve learned that I’m loved by more people than I ever realized.

8. I’ve learned that the internet is an amazing place that can either hurt or inspire you. I’ve chosen to be inspired.

7. I’ve learned that everyone has a big heart; you just have to lure it out of some people.

6. I’ve learned that sometimes you just have to put yourself out there, and see what happens. And usually it ends up being a good decision.

5. I’ve learned that you can’t change the way people are.

4. I’ve learned that you have to know who you are, for it to be worth living.

3. I’ve learned that friends can either make you or break you.

2. I’ve learned that you are stronger than you think you are.

And most importantly,

I’ve learned that words are enough.

Words are enough to make you feel like you’re flying or crashing. Words are enough to change your mind or your heart. Words are enough to help you hang on and move forward. And words are enough to take you back into the past, to reminisce. Words are a part of you more than you realize, so learn to love them often.

Love,

Vidra