"Buddhists"- A Poem

(source)

My stomach twists

Like a bendy straw in the 

Grasp of a little child

It churns when I think of how

Awful

I must be 

Maybe if I went to someone

Spoke my thoughts out loud

Maybe if I went for a seven day walk

Like a Buddhist would

Maybe if I became Buddhist

It would be easier

Because Buddhists can't kill things

It's against their faith

The thing is

I don't have any.

Moments

(source) 

“Those moments before a poem comes, when the heightened awareness comes over you, and you realize a poem is buried there somewhere, you prepare yourself. I run around, you know, kind of skipping around the house, marvelous elation. It’s as though I could fly.”

-Anne Sexton

"Helplessness Blues" by Fleet Foxes

I was raised up believing I was somehow unique

Like a snowflake distinct among snowflakes, unique in each way you can see

And now after some thinking, I'd say I'd rather be

A functioning cog in some great machinery serving something beyond me

But I don't, I don't know what that will be

I'll get back to you someday soon you will see

What's my name, what's my station, oh, just tell me what I should do

I don't need to be kind to the armies of night that would do such injustice to you

Or bow down and be grateful and say "sure, take all that you see"

To the men who move only in dimly-lit halls and determine my future for me

And I don't, I don't know who to believe

I'll get back to you someday soon you will see

If I know only one thing, it's that everything that I see

Of the world outside is so inconceivable often I barely can speak

Yeah I'm tongue-tied and dizzy and I can't keep it to myself

What good is it to sing helplessness blues, why should I wait for anyone else?

And I know, I know you will keep me on the shelf

I'll come back to you someday soon myself

If I had an orchard, I'd work till I'm raw

If I had an orchard, I'd work till I'm sore

And you would wait tables and soon run the store

Gold hair in the sunlight, my light in the dawn

If I had an orchard, I'd work till I'm sore

If I had an orchard, I'd work till I'm sore

Someday I'll be like the man on the screen

Photo Journals

(all photos came from here)

"Cat Lady Suicides"- A Poem

(source)

some study somewhere

claimed, ("said only" according to

my communications teacher)

Cat Lady Suicides

how tragic- how 

light

a rise in death in being alone

with windows

and lots of sleeping fur

but the need for your own blood

because of society

how cat-

astrophic

i had always liked them 

with their outdated moth clothes

and cracked smiles and

flyaway foggy-monday colored hair

they had always seemed

content

but these "studies"

would argue with statistics spitting

and facts flying

i never liked them.

"Punnett Squares"- A Poem

(source)

It was a dull day in February 

She told us how she had a student 

During blood tests 

(back when they were allowed)

But Mrs. Doe, why doesn't it match? 

And she told us how she looked at her and said

Maybe check your work,

you may be incorrect.

Avoid, avoid

She said the girl went home

Said 

Mom, why does it not match?

Said

Dad, it doesn't make any sense.

They said the unbelieved truth

And while she said this 

The class was quiet

We all were imagining

The girl walking home,

Her mind darting, breath quickening

Wondering why 

They never had any photo albums.

And how lying is such an easy skill

They should teach it in trade school.

"Lifedance" by Charles Bukowski

(source) 

the area dividing the brain and the soul
is affected in many ways by
experience –
some lose all mind and become soul:
insane.
some lose all soul and become mind:
intellectual.
some lose both and become:
accepted.

"Aberrant"- A Poem

(source)

I try to explain

the words won't form

my mouth asks for help

like the air is dense with itself

so full of itself

and if it were winter 

things might be different

things might be better

but the clock just kept ticking

ticking

and i just kept thinking, considering

about how people need 

so much

people need each other

to cling to 

and for some aberrant 

reason 

I can't end things anymore

they just go on and on, 

then they start up again

like those roller-coasters 

you see at the amusement park

that I never ride.